It has been a long three days of training in the unusual heat and humidity. Every inch of my body hurts, and I look like a bruised banana. What should have been an easy night turned out to be a rough one for me, and not because of the weather. For weeks I've been in my head. There have been good days and bad days. Structure fires sucked the life out of me. But its done. That left the easy skills and of course, the simplest thing messed me up. I spiraled and was ready to doff my gear and leave. I am overwhelmed with class and life, running a house, being a single mom and looking for a new job. So, what tripped me up? Hoisting tools. Yup you read that correctly AND I practiced all day on an axe. By the third try three fingers in my right hand were numb. That's been happening for two weeks now and yes I am going to get checked out tomorrow. I lost my grip and well, had a breakdown. This is hard, this was hard and credits to me getting this far goes to my squad, firefighters Maass, Casey and Poux, Instructors Lewis, Kinash(s) and Scagnelli. I am no spring chicken and the endless amount of support, encouragement kept me moving forward.
Final written exam is Saturday. Because the weather prevented us from finishing all the skills last night, we have two more to do. And even though I passed hoisting tools, I will DO IT AGAIN. Why? Because:
Laziness kills ambition
Anger kills wisdom
Fear kills dreams
Ego kills growth
Jealousy kills peace
Doubt kills confidence
Now read that backwards.
You are not stopping me.
(Compliments of HR Dairy)
Failure is not an option.
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